Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize