I like my sex mixed with concussions.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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