I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
