Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
