Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
