i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Randomize
