Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
