...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
nutella sex= disaster
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Randomize
