Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
He uses pillows to masturbate.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
