What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Two words: nipple clamps
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