How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
