you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
So much rum. So many feels.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
