I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
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and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
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I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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