everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
