It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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