i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
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