i need an iv and a liver transplant
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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