Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
