dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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