i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
