The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
My dick has a subreddit
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
