The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
We need a shit load of segways right now
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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