Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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