i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
