I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
