Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
