the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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