Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
either way he was missing a nipple.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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