have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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