marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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