he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
