I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
