I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize