Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
