Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
