I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
