found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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