So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
