In the future we'll all be gay
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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