i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Someone shattered a urinal.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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