i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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