just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
The beer is more important than you right now.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
