Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
