He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
