If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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