i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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