What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
