Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Randomize
