Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
be right there i have to get my cape
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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