Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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