This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
