So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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