??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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