I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
