i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Randomize