Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
