I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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