K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
