Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
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