so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I have already put on my inside pants.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
