Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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