saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
