Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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