Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
