Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
