my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize