Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
