you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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